so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
