Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
