We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
