I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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