My hand turned me down
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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