dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
