So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
