I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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