OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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