We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize