well you can't waste a boner
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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