if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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