he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
