one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
