You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
