Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
