Sponge bath it is.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
