Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
