cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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