there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize