I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
