And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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