The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize