It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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