dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
