What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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