Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
