She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
