I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
