She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
