She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
