you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
