Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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