he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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