Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
