so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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