I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
