I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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