the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I came so hard my ears popped.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
