Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
