I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
