no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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