shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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