I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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