They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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