i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
