I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
