Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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