Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
