I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize