super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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