i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
