I have demons in me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
