i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
