Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
