$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
