Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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