I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize