help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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