he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
