You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
