Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
