i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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